Thursday, August 13, 2009

La Vie en Rose

Aside from being one my favorite movies, it is life in this moment. When ever "La Vie" is "en Rose" blogging seems inadequate. That whatever I have to say will not be entertaining or moving or important because it's not tragic. And my happiness is so small, so petty, so uninteresting. but today my loves, it is the whole of me.

My city is covered in a blanket of glistening jewels. My counselor was perfect in her grey wrap sweater, wise words, and ability to decipher my incoherent nonstop fluttering about how anxious I am about the next week. She assured me that some measure of anxiety is indeed okay. My heart feels a healthy glow of wonder about this magical world I am travelling to, and the magical friend I will see while I am there. In less that 36 hours I will be with him. and that makes me smile.

At the moment I cannot understand how tomorrow will ever come, or even worse how it will ever pass and make way for the next day. It seems impossible. It seems that I have been waiting for so long that there is a wall insurmountable between me and this getaway. And yet the wall is only 36 hours high, and the climbing will come naturally and by no work of my own. In fact working to make it come faster is ludicrous. Like trying to make Christmas happen as a child. Better to go to bed early and wake up to the love of the morning, than to wait and wait and wait. So tonight I will pack, and go to the gym, and go to bed. Tomorrow I will work all day, hard and steady, then try my very hardest to sleep. That 6 AM flight will come quickly enough... almost as quickly as my 3:30 AM alarm. The two hour flight will indeed pass with much journaling (my favorite flight pastime) and much Vanity Fair (have you seen the latest issue?! Oh the style issue is my favorite... and with Farrah and Michael to boot!) and then my plane will land (my least favorite part, second only to taking off) and I will be there. and he will be there. and that intensely awkward moment of seeing someone after five years will come and sit and then it will pass. and we will be friends.

Where are the words in this language? Why have I not studied my GRE vocab more so that I could more fabulously express to you the magnitude of my excitement?! okay I have to be done, only because I have to pack. and call my cousin.
This week I am going to read John 15 every day. Here is why:

The word used there for Remain is the same word stem used in James for Persevere. I want to remember to remain. to stay. to be. not to actively persevere, but to actively be. My challenge for myself in Alaska.

I'll let you know how it goes.

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