Monday, March 9, 2009

My Old Rugged Cross

Getting my life in order is a constant battle for me. This weekend I took time out to figure this one out. Sometimes (today) it seems funny how difficult it can be to just live. Not to survive, not to excel, not to journey, not to strive... to just live.

Listening to the Old Rugged Cross over and over just now, and am dwelling in the comfort of memory, of stability, of home. I very much want to remember how it is to dwell in the effervescent joy that has always been the love of everything within the bounds of my Saviour. Lately I have been very turned off by the need I feel for some sort "quiet time" with Jesus. I am coming out, though, of my disgust/fear with what I have seen in the Evangelical Church. Time is healing these old wounds and fears in my heart... at least enough for me to embrace my heart's own needs... even if not yet quite enough to fully embrace the church as I once did. I do miss my space in community, but I can see that I am still too distanced to return to a full capacity. I am hopeful that someday soon this Catholic will remember how to be Protestant. Because this Protestant loves that Catholic and knows that we need each other. Desperately.

Going to the gym tonight, and then home for some "QT" as my boss call quiet time, with myself and Jesus. I am hoping my roommates won't be too noisy.

Let's hope for some success at normalcy. I am setting aside the drama, and resting for a few moments... I am determined to let resting not be hard work.

P.S. yesterday I did my taxes AND bought pillows for my bed, because my old pillows were very very very dead... (and older than any of my other bedding!) Go me.

1 comment:

Jenn said...

Way to buy new pillows, lil sis--I applaud a small step towards loving you... and I love you too.