Monday, March 7, 2011

Well I guess I did it...

Terrifyingly enough I met a boy and we are something. I don't know exactly what we are, because I don't care much for labels and so until he labels it, I'm certainly not going to. Even typing this makes me feel sick to my stomach with fear and joy.

So Boy is wonderful. Exactly as wonderful as I knew he would be. But I am terrified. And I'm going to have to tell him. And should I even be blogging about this since he may find my blog? Probably not, but oh well because let's face it, I blog about everything. Mostly, I think I am just afraid of being that person again... like I was with Andrew. The one who eats and destroys the souls of men who love her... yeah that one. I don't want to get so afraid of him becoming a part of me that I push him away. I need to CALM DOWN REBECCA! Geez. And I need to stop being so hard on myself.

Mostly, I am absolutely certain that if I am just honest with him he will make it ok. He is fabulous and I have no doubt that if I can just get over myself, calm down, and talk to him, that he will impress me yet again.

So the whole point of the post (it has rabbit trailed so so far) was to say that I was worried in not too distant posts that I wasn't capable of a relationship, but I think that's what this might be. I am proud of myself, even if it hasn't been that long. It really is scary, but he really is great.

Also, I very much need to come up with his internet name. I don't know if I'm just not feeling creative or if it just hasn't come yet. Boy is obviously not going to work. I'm going to need something more substantial.

Oh and I just remembered this. Julie asked me today, if this is what I wanted for just today. And this is absolutely what I want for today.


Lilliana Jones said...

I like Arthur. We can keep a theme of TV show nicknames. Although mine isn't as secretive as yours is.

Timotheus said...

YAY BECCA! So happy for you! Hope he's a winner-- and that I get to meet him someday. And I hope that he's a man, a real man that you can be absolutely proud of.

While I'm at it, I hope he has rippling muscles and a goofy personality.



Timotheus said...

And I think you should call him, "Farmboy" like in Princess Bride.