There are people I truly admire from afar. I don't talk about them, but I web stalk them like there is no tomorrow. For example, there is a Ms.Umberdove, whom I really think everyone should try to emulate. Not only is she gorgeous, and ridiculously brave, she is conscientious and fastidious and really a whole lot of fun. She makes things. And she made me two things that sit on my bed, adorning my lovely creamy bed spread with just the right hints of blue that tie so nicely to the painting that hangs above. And all I had to do was tell her a color and off she went to create majesty. Really... you should know her. The point, though, in telling you about her was because she is making some really remarkable things right now... which you should totally check out at her blog. Right now.
I have discovered that I am a cheesy girl that loves romance. Which is rather surprising. And I love to cuddle and be held... again surprising. I haven't liked these things before, but now... oh now.... they seem like special treats to be so very dearly treasured. And may I just tell you that being asked out on a date by your boyfriend is so much more exciting than I ever thought it would be.
Likewise, I have decided that this whole loss of identity thing when Grandpa died, is still with me. I mean, I guess I've just recognized it again. Still I want him here. I want him to see and know me again. I want his input on my life and his blessing on my decisions. I want to hear his voice call me "Baby" just one more time. I wasn't ready, am not ready, to get over this... still.
Rest is hard to come by and when it comes I am having the most difficult time turning it down. I don't know exactly what to do about that because I find myself not accomplishing as much these days because I am reveling in my alone time, in my down time, in my reading time, in any time I can have to do as I choose. I don't know why this is. Usually I am so super motivated to do everything I need to do in order fulfill not only my social obligations but also my social desires... but lately... I'm just not.
So that's all for today. Again... Check out the Umberdove.... at www.umberdove.com