Sunday, December 7, 2008

Men of Misunderstanding

Today a married man told me he thought we had a special spark and that I was trouble. Tell me how that happens, when I barely know the man.

Today a gay man stroked my face, told me I was gorgeous, and that he loved catching my eye. That was certainly interesting.

Yesterday, a woman asked me if she could meet my handsome boyfriend. Turns out she was referring to my brother.

Two days ago, I watched "The ideal husband"... a movie taken from the play written by Oscar Wilde, in which every relationship is at one point or another completely misconstrued for something it is not.

Relationships frustrate me over and over again. I feel that when I am most straightforward, those around me misunderstand my intentions. However, when I am shielded, guarded, misunderstanding also occurs, generally from my own lack of communication about where I am comfortable.

Tell me how to be in this world. How is it possible to be comfortable in my skin and with myself, and yet uncomfortable with the confrontation that causes? I would like to understand my options for how a relationship could be before I engage in them. Like shopping: you can choose relationship A, which will be fun for two weeks and then end badly, relationship B, which will be boring for a year before you get comfortable, or relationship C, in which nothing in particular happens but to all outward appearances, you are in love.

I prefer shopping and books to relationships today. Sweet.

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