So today I was thinking... maybe I do so many things because I am looking all over the place to find what it is I am looking for. Then I have to ask, what am I looking for?
That extra something. It used to be here. now it is not. It has no name, no place, no description. its that something. that thing in your stomach that burns when something is so right and so complete, it hurts. its that something that immense love, exact happiness, extreme pain, and intense fear all have in common. I think the word is passion... but I'm not sure... maybe its hope.
Today Auntie Jeanette told me to set boundaries. Even Auntie Jeanette. I just want to know... someone tell me... when I set those boundaries, who is going to take care of the things I stop taking care of? Are you going to do it? Of course not.
So if its passion? How do I find it? So if its hope? shouldn't I have that? Don't I? I am really hopeless and without passion? Do I honestly believe that I won't go to grad school and feel that again? That I won't fall in love with SOMEthing or SOMEone... anything, anyone? No. I must not believe that... because Rebecca Anne doesn't believe such things. Rebecca Anne is full of passion for life and hope is her gosh darn forte.
So it's all good.