I'm not a big mourner. I usually mourn for a bit, and then life takes over and I move on.
I've had a lot of practice with death. I'm not so afraid of it. It can be peaceful. And this death was peaceful.
But it still sneaks up on me at the strangest times: Driving on the freeway, putting on my make up, taking off my shoes. He is still there in my heart and he is still dead. I am still broken. It's all still not right.
I'll be back when this is over. For now, I am resting in my grief.